At child emotional control stages , child development
We need more often to stop and ask ourselves a few questions : Is that we are demanding of the child reasonable and within his power to produce? Are we presenting to him a healthy example of the kind of emotional control we want him to learn? There is no sense asking the child to do as we say and not we do. He will feel the unreasonableness of this quickly and rebel against it, one way or another.
A child is often judged by his teacher. Let us face the fact that not all teachers are thoroughly capable of determining what is normal behaviour for a child. Some teachers begin by requiring strict obedience to many rigid rules. They threaten children with dire consequences if they do not live up to this unnatural and artificial situation. Other teachers go to the opposite extreme. They allow their pupils to get completely out of hand.
How much is control is normal at various child ages ? child emotional control stages, child development
First year. No emotional control. The infant is a servant of his emotions, not their master. We need to gratify his desire so that he will be stirred to pleasant emotions and a not painful ones. It is futile and harmful to require this child to make serious attempts at controlling his emotions.
At age of five. The child has powerful emotions, both positive and negative. He can love one minute and hate the next. He tries to bring his emotions under control but as yet he can do only a partial job. He is still unable to tolerate much frustration without showing his anger. Parents can ask him for a beginning stage of control, but must not be angrily disappointed if he does not succeed in every instance. Let us remember that he is no longer a baby, but he is by no means in command of all his feelings.
Age five to seven . This child also is struggling with powerful emotions but is slowly bringing them into control. He doesn't give vent to every feeling that occurs.
He is still immature and by no means the master of his emotions, but he has made great strides in this direction at this age in child emotional control stages. He is apt to show unique positive feelings toward the parent of the opposite sex and seek a return of these feelings. At Parent of the same time there are outbursts of negative feelings toward parent of the same sex for no apparent reason. The child is also able to wait longer for what he wants. He can endure frustration with fewer outward signs that he is irritated or annoyed.
Age seven to twelve .This is a quieter age emotionally for most children. They are no longer so closely tied to parents, if any of their emotions begin to and expression outside the home and with children the same age. They get angry at playmates find solutions to the problems involved. They are generally much more controlled than when at the earlier ages. We should still allow them to get angry in provoking situations but not to lose control of themselves. They are more cautious in showing affection but it should still be evident to those close to them.